I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about old people lately. I struggled to yank the reason out of my subconscious as to why I started noticing the elderly everywhere I went and whether they seemed happy or sad or something in between. I often created stories in my head, wondering what they might have experienced to shape their long lives.
I thought maybe I was noticing the aged because I’m about to turn 33 in a few months and that feels like a giant leap compared to past years. I know, I’m hardly close to being elderly, but my best friend from high school just had her birthday so it triggered the reality of my own ticking clock. Or maybe it’s because some prominent people died at the age of 33 and my mind is connecting the inevitability of death and old age. It could also be coming from the fact that Tim McGraw’s song lyric “Live Like You Were Dyin’” has repeated in my mind more than any other for the past few years. Then again, I might have started noticing the elderly more after Alan asked me what kind of physical ailments I thought I could be faced with when I am old. I can’t remember what sparked the conversation, but it got me thinking.
Several different things happened to highlight old people that came in my path over the past few weeks, but I won’t go into detail about all of them. One of them was when, on a whim the other day, I watched the video Wives and Daughters of the First Presidency. I stuck the VHS in because my mom gave it to her kids for Christmas and I was feeling guilty that I hadn’t watched it yet, but also because I was curious about it. The bulk of this video was to get to know Sister Marjorie Hinckley better. I’ve been enthralled with this woman and all her humorous glory since I read her collection of personal letters a few years ago. Like my Grandma Sammy, Sister and President Hinckley are true icons of how to grow old gracefully.
It’s not that I don’t think of the elderly on a fairly regular basis. I have helped them at grocery stores and enjoyed getting to know the widows and widowers at church, but the prominence of these recent observations seemed to be preparing me for something. Maybe it was for this past weekend.
Early this past week my almost 92 year old grandma (the infamous “loblollie” grandma) fell and broke her arm, rendering her very helpless. I couldn’t ignore the urge to take a turn staying the night with her this past Saturday. Grandma Nina can be difficult to keep your patience with because she likes to tell you every move to make, sure that you don’t know what you’re doing. And she’s been known to say something rude about your figure or clothes or she displays her deep south prejudices, yet she doesn’t realize she might be offensive. We’ve all learned that’s just the way she is because she sees no need to change, despite your efforts to educate her.
After finding myself doing things for a sweet and gracious Grandma that she never ever wanted to have another person do for her, I went to bed seriously wondering why we are allowed to get that old and dependent on others. And what am I going to experience in my life that will shape the way I treat others in my old age? Why do we have to go through deterioration at the point in our lives when we should have learned nearly all that we can possibly learn to progress in the next life? The answer came as my time with Grandma went on… Maybe it isn’t Grandma that has something left to learn in getting old. Maybe she has something to teach me. Maybe it is I who need to learn something from serving her.
I’ve always looked forward to getting old because wisdom often follows. I want to ‘live like I am dyin’, but not necessarily to the extreme of riding “2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu”. Hopefully I’ll have something to share that will benefit others. Or maybe I’ll have to be taken care of by others for a long time, trying their patience.
There are the steady constants in Grandma Nina’s life who are racking up blessings in heaven for all of their service and I’m sure they’ve learned all that they need to. But, for me there was a definite lesson to be learned in taking a turn with her. I left there feeling less prideful than I was when I arrived. Does this mean I’m getting wiser? Maybe it just means I’m getting older.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: elderly, old age
I spent the night with grandma last night and the morning today and all she did for hours was rave about how wonderful Lynsie is!! She listed for me many time all the wonderful things you did for her. She made me have a piece of your Lime pie at 10:30 last night it was yummy! She was so grateful that you would put your busy life on hold to come help her!! We also are very grateful to you for our night off. It was nice to spend some mommy time with my kids!
I loved this post! It was very thought provoking and had me contemplating quite a lot. I know what you mean about turning 33, my turn is in a few weeks. It is making me feel old and wonder what else I could be enjoying in my life at this point.